RUGBY LEAGUE NEWS:
| A “call” to arms | ||
| Written by: Titanic (Kangaroos) | ||
| January 19th 2010 06:25 PM | ||
For crying out loud, this is a game built around mateship, courage and doing the oftentimes brutal necessities. Many readers may well be thinking; “ho-hum, here comes some more sentimental slop about the Anzac tradition” but they will be wrong… and yet a little right. I staunchly stand for those values. I revel in the celebration of those fading, paling ideals that have meant so much, to so many on both sides of the Ditch. In fact, I feel so strongly in support of them that I am making my stand right here, right now. No longer will I let the commentary of our game wallow in the squalor created by media fat cats. Those unholy brigands hell-bent on turning every couch potatoes’ heaven into some facsimile of a KFC order… without fries. I demand a return to the old order when men were men and women walked tall; two meters behind and one to the left. A time when playing the game was as ferocious as a hooligan brandishing a loaded Enfield and a premiership was a blood-splattered badge of courage. Oh yes, bring it all back! Bring back the family blanket. Return the Hill to its slouch hat glory and let it reverberate once more to the cadence of rugby league. No more grapples. No more “separation”. No more pink shirts and no more “corporal stripes” on our beloved logo. Hush now. Be-gone the sounds of the vacuous new millennia, I renounce you. Hark, a new sweet swelling chorus heralds the triumphant recall of rugby league’s inner soul. Alleluia! Like the charge of the Light Horse, rugby league must unleash its suppressed character now. Smith scurries from dummy half, ducks under a high shot from Eastwood, spies Lockyer and delivers the bayonet. bayonet: a sharp crisp pass, deflected by neither bone nor gristle. Oh, Gus and Wazza, Fat Marne and Ray, Sterlo and Rabbits… yield now or be banished to the sullen echoes forever. Roll back the new-speak, latte-league language v20.09 and let’s live it with the pride and passion of the Diggers of old… in the words of the irrepressible Rex “Moose” Mossop[1]: "I don't think the male genitals or the female genitals should be rammed down people's throats … to use a colloquialism." Vintage, vintage, vintage. If it’s long enough and straight enough, then it’s bloody good enough. Mannering’s clear, he’s over the 40, he’s over the 30, he’s going all the… oh my goodness, Laffranchi has come from nowhere and chopped him down with a merciless daisy-cutter. daisy-cutter: a vicious anti-personnel device designed to deflate the tallest poppy. The ramblings of the vocally challenged have replaced the dulcet tones of the great broadcasters of yore. Scripts have been ‘enhanced’ by preprogrammed modulations and emphatic stress variances. The spellbinding spontaneity of a commentator’s pent-up emotion has been replaced by the maniacal meanderings of ‘professional’ sportscasters and their supporting bands of merry men. Folau magically catches the ball on his fingertips, skirts a tiring Vatuvei and Gallipoli-gallops down the sideline. Gallipoli-gallop: a fleet-footed dash, reminiscent of the latrine sprints at Anzac Cove. Fans of the traditional and enemies of the contemporary alike, unite! We must not accept the platitudes of hip hop, the inanities of the NBA or the ‘snowclones[2]’ of the X Generation. We must put the balls back into football and crush the nuts who are against. Asotasi looms up ready to deliver a bomb but Thurston throws a furphy, runs into a hole, loops an inside pass to Boyd who puts the game beyond doubt. furphy: a feature of the popular 1915 publication “Passes for Dummies”. Our game has been desensitized, neutered by media moguls mesmerized by the lure of the almighty ‘mullah’. Turn back the clock; turn it way, way back. Back to the era when an equalizer meant a game was headed for a draw. The game turns nasty and Gallen the serial nuisance has grabbed hold of a protesting Marshall and is giving him a short arm inspection. short arm inspection: a meaningful moment shared between players when one player takes a firm grip of another player’s ‘hopes and aspirations’. Anzac Day is the time to salute those who paid the ultimate price so that we who come after can freely protest. Lest we forget. ========================= [1] “The moose that roared”, Mossop, Rex (1991) [2] A snowclone is a type of cliché and phrasal template originally defined as "a multi-use, customizable, instantly recognizable, time-worn, quoted or misquoted phrase or sentence that can be used in an entirely open array of different jokey variants by lazy journalists and writers." http://www.nzherald.co.nz (May 06, 2009) http://www.diggerhistory.info Posted in the F7s Matches forum in May 2009 The F7s is an article writing competition hosted on The Front Row forums here on LeagueUnlimited.com To join a team, click on the banner below  FOR ALL F7s MATCHES, CLICK HERE |
